/dumps self-indulgent arpee all over this comm

[heartofarapier]

Does he like music?

It was a thing she had wondered as she had her face nearly pressed up against the panel of glass of the department store. On the other side, a violin fashioned of European maple and spruce, intricate scrolling filigree designs along its upper and lower bouts, and a proper pike-head bow strung up along with it. The instrument itself was not foreign to her, but it was something that the very sight brought along nostalgia.

It had been a while since she'd arrived from Magvel, and still her heart felt heavy. But Connor had certainly helped with that, while adding some weight of his own. The kind of weight that sat right upon her heart and reminded her precisely of where she stood in relation to him. And how, with each day, that seemed to matter less and less.

"I should like very much to play for him sometime," she murmured to idle air in a single breath.

Reluctantly she pried herself away and straightening out her tunic, Eirika looked about. It had been her sincerest intent to meet with him. Any company of his would do and she was hardly particular, but she'd hoped to put some professionalism aside. None of the Native and the Princess, but rather simply man and woman.

So as she made her way - and likely tardy - to their deemed meeting place (a blooming tree of little renown), her steps held her with bated breath and a silent anticipation that could only be described in books as prickling and numb.

Comments

[mohawk_tomahawk]

Connor didn't really do anything in town unless if it was for business. So he had no problem coming to their destination and waiting for her. He didn't mind. He'd been in a brain muddle these days anyway.

He sat under the blooming tree, looking up at the blossoms. Occasionally fiddling with his tomahawk, as if to have his mind wander elsewhere.

He actually agreed to meet at a somewhat...more intimate spot. The lake, his post, to discuss serious matters.

Never did he ask to meet someone here out of his own sheer will. Recreational reasons.

What could she be thinking right now? Maybe she can tell him what he is because he still had little clue.

It is only proper, is it not? Eirika is...Eirika is my friend. Friends...do this.

Who was he fooling? Maybe himself. Bonding time for Connor was hunting for feathers, doing some sort of activity with some benefit. Those days even then...were long passed for obvious reasons.

He had been thinking of various frustrating things before realizing she was taking a while...before he got worried, she arrived. Oh. Oh good.

He turned to look, with a look of relief.

"...Eirika. I had thought of you to be lost."

[heartofarapier]

He had a penchant for worrying over her, she found. More so than she was accustomed to with her friends. She was certain Tana or L'Arachel wouldn't have. No, in some ways, he still treated her very much as if she was his retained. Charming, and yet unnecessary.

She smiled when he addressed her, but didn't reply immediately. At least until she had closed some of the distance between them.

A polite nod was given, "I appear to have lost track of time. I was..." And there was really no shame in admitting what had held her. "I saw something I liked on my way here and started thinking of home. I've been easily distracted as of late."

Leaning over to him, her features softened, "I apologise for making you wait, Connor."

[mohawk_tomahawk]

...Heh.

Connor shook his head and seemed to have a positive aura about him. Something about that seemed endearing.

How very...Eirika. Maybe that was why.

"I did not mind in a sense you might think," then he looked at her and gave her a lighthearted gaze.

"And what was it that you liked? Something in town?"

You got him curious.

[heartofarapier]

Her eyes stayed on his longer than she thought he would appreciate, so right before she could give into the concept of a blush - which he brought from her easily by doing nothing at all - she looked aside, and pulled some hair behind her right ear.

"Yes," she nodded easily. "A musical instrument, as it were. I'm very fond of music, yet it's something I rarely hear here. And... the music here is very different from what I'm accustomed to. It isn't the same."

Briefly she thought about joining him, but instead her posture straightened again and she looked in the direction of the lake, a little thoughtful over previous days with him. There were a few of those. Days they'd spent together, anyway.

[mohawk_tomahawk]

"I do not think I like it," Connor bluntly said as he looked out. "There is something about the music here that...seems far too loud. It does not the feel the same in the slightest."

Connor's tomahawk is paid a little attention too again. Good job, thinking about your home made him do that same.

"Music had brought people together. In times of celebration and sadness...Though I admit, I did not become too accustomed to music before."

[heartofarapier]

Looking back to him, she listened attentively. Then with a slight tip of the head, she moved over to him just enough that she could give him a gentle nudge with her elbow.

"Oh..."

Eirika had begun to know him well enough to see when his mind traveled. Time and circumstance, she supposed. And nostalgia was infectious, it seemed.

"We shall have to change that at some point, I think." A decisive action on her part that she would later go for that violin. And play for him. Something far more gentle and elegant when compared to the academy's version of 'music.'

"Do you mind spending a little time with me today?" Eirika found herself asking, somewhat brazenly. If only to catch his attention and to keep him from falling into himself too deeply.

[mohawk_tomahawk]

That was really brazen. He did turn to look at her squarely. Especially when she nudged him. Connor seemed curious, if a bit taken aback that he was invited to simply spend an afternoon off the bat.

Seemed so.


Casual. Normal. Light hearted.

"...What did you have in mind?"

[heartofarapier]

It was a good question.

One she didn't have an immediate answer for. Eirika didn't particularly care what they were doing. He could have been skinning something and she simply watching and she would have been quite content. Where Connor was concerned, she was simply... delighted being near him. Except...

Well. Why not?

"I didn't have a plan. I just... wanting to be with you," she replied with a vague shrug.

[mohawk_tomahawk]

...o h.

He then just had to tell himself to keep a straight face and hold it all to himself how much he wanted to politely turn it down or act like he had a turtle shell.

A day with Eirika, he wants. But how to deal, he doesn't even begin to know.

His uncertainty had gotten the best of him in more than one occasion. And it did nothing more than make Eirika feel bad. So he had learned.


So after learning THAT, he told himself...time to shape up a little. Just to make her less nervous, even for just a while.

He sucks at this and all of this.

"So where did you find this musical instrument?"

[heartofarapier]

She had anticipated for him to turn her down, actually. So when he didn't, which was how she interpreted it, she hesitated minutely. And then the features in her face softened and she wore something of a reserved smile.

"Back in the town," Eirika replied as she turned just enough and swept an arm back indicatively. "I will revisit later. I think I would rather like it and Renais' convoy treasury seems to be doing very little good remaining stationary. I will ensure that you benefit from it, as well."

She moved to lace her hands together and then she paused minutely. Instead, after a moment's thought, she offered her right hand over to him. For him to take, or to give her his. Either way, hand-holding was something she wanted to do, without asking him to do it. If he'd allow it. So she waited patiently, not expectantly, but rather curious.

"I was thinking of the lake," she said to him gently. "I think you like it there."

[mohawk_tomahawk]

Connor wasn't looking at the hand for a few seconds. He wasn't paying any real attention to it at all.

Honestly, Connor was in an inner sanctum within himself. And he would meet an inner Connor that told him to not think. Just do.

Basically, the inner Connor was telling him...maybe for this moment he could just. Not be himself, entirely. That was harder to do then it looked. He was looking for more words. He focused only on his words.

Which would mean maybe he unconsciously saw Eirika's hand...and maybe unconsciously took out his to let Eirika do what she wanted with it. You caught the Native off his guard. It was down, his defenses, feel proud.

"I do find myself here often," he said. "It is quiet. Spacious. I feel more in my element here. I can think. Other than that, I do patrol these parts."

[heartofarapier]

She seemed a little appreciative of his reaction, that he was willing to be open with her. At least a little. And she knew she was pushing it, so there was no need to have him extend himself so far. A glance around and when she was positive it was only the two of them, Eirika took his hand into hers. A perfectly innocent gesture.

With a little unspoken affection, because it was the only way she could express it. She wanted to be as Connor was. Fewer words and more action. And she hoped he'd eventually understand that. It was her own form of compromise, considering she was the woman with the silver tongue.

"Yes," she agreed. "That sounds like you, Connor. A man who enjoys his quiet, his... space, and his ability to think. If you think so much, however, I'd hope you didn't over think. Some time, I hope you will share some of your thoughts with me."

He didn't have to, but she would have liked for him to.

[mohawk_tomahawk]

...Tears?

Immediately Connor felt his heart ache a little. She was...crying. Shy was crying. Was it something he said? Was it a happy cry? Or a sad cry?

All he knew for a fact was that after he spoke, she cried. Said nothing. Then she tried to wipe her own tears, trying to be tough.

"...Eirika..." Connor could only say. Don't ever think for a second that he thought of her any less. Perhaps it was all those feelings finally coming out. When was it the last time Connor had cried? Tears weren't for him. But only because it was him. Honestly, there were times when tears were necessary and when they were not.

There was nothing bad about Eirika crying, case and point.

But with that, there was an instinct brought alive in him.

If he was the one who made those tears, then he can help them disappear. Yet, Connor as inexperienced as he was obviously...would only seem awkward. But he didn't care.

He placed a hand on her cheek to wipe away any tears he saw, or any hair of hers that would cover her face.

See, he's here even now.

[heartofarapier]

The gesture itself was so incredibly foreign to her, that Eirika almost backed away entirely. Touching her hair was one thing. Embracing her was another. Holding her hand seemed to be okay. Touching her face was... so affectionate to her that she felt herself freeze up on the inside. But there came no moment that she rejected him or otherwise brushed him off. If anything, she could only hold surprise and more than a little bit of embarrassment that he would feel the need to do such a thing in the first place.

...I am not a child. But this does not feel as if you are treating me as one.

"I am not upset," she clarified as she lifted a hand to rest upon his carefully. "I... was very moved by your words. When you spoke before, I felt as if you cherished me and I have never had anyone make me feel that way. I suppose I became very overwhelmed and I didn't know what to say or what to do."

Her smile was bashful and there was no mistaking the way she reddened and she knew even he'd be able to feel it. There seemed little sense in denying what was the earnest of the situation and he hadn't taken off sprinting for the trees yet. Perhaps he really was proving that he would be there for her. That he wanted to be there for her. That there was no longer a point in pretending there sat nothing between them, and there was no longer a need for her to shut him so desperately out of her life.

He had earned as much a right to be a part of hers as she had wanted to be a part of his.

[mohawk_tomahawk]

Silly Eirika, you didn't need to explain yourself. You figured that out but it looked like he had to remind you. He looked at her again.

Eirika would gaze at a face that wasn't smiling wide and brightly. Connor never made huge smiles at all. When he smiled, albeit rarely to begin with, he smiled small. But they had meaning, he smiled when he was really happy.

Small, but bright and meaningful smiles.

That was how he looked right now.

His eyes were showing a brightness, a warmth. And with it came a small smile.

"I know."

He was sure for some reason he was happy right now. He was happy to be in front of Eirika like this.

[heartofarapier]

"I know."

He always knew. That was how it always was as time went on. He always knew what she was thinking. Since when had he become so familiar? ...How? He'd done it without her actually noticing. Unintentionally...?

When she caught a glimpse of his smile, she found herself very... There wasn't a word for it. But it was a rather handsome sight. Connor had an excessively pleasant curve to his mouth, more so because of how subtle it was. And it reflected in his gaze.

It was odd for her to be so easily taken by something so simple. The grasp she took on his hand became more certain and her own look softened. A sweet kind of surrender and in reply, her smile became more sincere. Less shy. Less modest. Warm. Welcoming.

"I know," she echoed softly as she eyed him with a type of affection there were no words for. But the kind that she could easily claim that she held for no other in past or present.

[mohawk_tomahawk]

Eirika looked at him with same warmth as he did. There was no modesty in this smile, none of that "I'm a princess so I need to do this and that" smile. This was a genuine smile. His gut told him that.

And so did his heart. It started beating a little bit.

Eirika's eyes were showing a welcoming gaze, a confident one.

Eirika was...

...Eirika was a beautiful woman.

Connor never had paid much mind at all to those details and was afraid to even say it at this moment because it would be very out of place and awkward even for him.

But he never ever looked at a woman and said to himself "she is pretty". But that was what he saw her as right now. And not in any way impure at all. It was probably the most innocent kind of way he can imagine.

He adored her, he really did.

[heartofarapier]

If the condition of hearts was contagious...

His eyes stayed on her. The most Eirika had really noticed them to. Or perhaps he hadn't directed such extensive attention on her. It was true that Connor had looked at her often with a plethora of situations she'd found herself in. This one, however, was a stark contrast to the others.

For how he looked at her... Had anyone before? Perhaps. And perhaps she simply didn't notice it. It was, frankly, a little embarrassing, but she decided to wear herself proudly. If he wanted to look, there was no felony in it.

"...What is it?" she asked him quietly, still kind, still compassionate, still adoring. "I am not capable of looking into your thoughts." Her right hand lifted and she motioned to his eyes. "Yet I see many. Give me but a glimpse into the enigma who has captured me so."

Confidence, indeed.

[mohawk_tomahawk]

Oh.

Whoops.

Okay he's back into reality. He blinked a little, suddenly feeling a little like he was in his own shoes. But still in the mood of what was going on. At least he composed himself a bit. He didn't stop that smile though.

"...N-nothing...Just..." he actually stuttered. Except no, it wasn't nothing. And Connor was now catching himself. However, catching himself and what he almost did put him into that awkward feeling.

We're...all being honest here. All gloves were off.

...So he just said it. Not caring how awkward it sounded.

"...You are beautiful."

[heartofarapier]

Had... her heart lodged its way into her throat? At something so simple? Except it wasn't simple at all. People didn't just say things like that to her. Because she was the princess of Renais, most likely. Or perhaps it seemed factual that it was simply how things were. There was no disputing the truth, after all.

But hearing it from Connor, who was not one of her people or anything akin to, Eirika could only pause and stare. Not in horror. Not in surprise (not much, anyway - though any present was pleasant). Just... speechless. At least temporarily.

Oh, how she wanted to look away. To hide a little under that mane of hair she had. Yet it seemed like it would have insulted him. She could tell him she thought he was handsome, because... she did. She'd not thought of it too much before, but there was... a great amount of aesthetic glory about him. Connor was both soft and hard and it was only one thing of many that she admired.

"...Thank you." Moving his hand from her cheek she pressed his palm to where her heart sat, wondering if he could feel how it raced. Wondering if he knew the effect he had on her. "And here I thought you never looked at me in such a way. I will carry myself with more pride."

1/2

[mohawk_tomahawk]

Thump thump thump thump thump.

Oh he felt it alright, that heart beat. He was causing this? This visibly made Connor swallow hard.

2/2 i'm dying

[mohawk_tomahawk]

Which he then tried to shape up once more. Even though his hand was still on her heart beat. Connor wasn't sure how fast his was beating, but it was surely feeling like it wanted out of his ribcage.

He already told her he wasn't really sure how he felt, or how to deal with it. So for a while, he just kept feeling her heart and finding its rhythm.

She was right there. And he strangely didn't want this to end.

"I...am feeling much right now. But, I told you. I am an honest man. Man of my word. Even if I am not sure of where I stand, please know whatever I tell you, I mean it. I would not lie to you."

His gaze never really changed though and he hoped you took that and took it well. Because in that split second after he said that, Connor leaned in closer to her.

He was...sure this was what he wanted to do. His brain kept telling him to. To just do it.

He gave her a gentle kiss on her forehead.

... /asplodes

[heartofarapier]

Her lips parted as though she might protest. That she'd often believed him when he spoke. Except for her to claim it would have been partially untrue. Connor had never held a reason to be untrustworthy. He was only ever honest, and to be fair at some point, perhaps he was more honest than she was. Not that she had ever outright lied to him, but perhaps once or twice, she had not been forward about something she thought.

Well, something she thought that he questioned her on. For she had believed she was protecting him. From... herself? Her position? Her obligation? As if she had a hold on his very heart and wanted to treat it with such reverence that it would not break. But how long could she keep that up?

Her insides twisted up a little - or so it felt - when he leaned in.

"...please know whatever I tell you, I mean it. I would not lie to you."

"I-"

And it was about as much as she got out. For with that very simple gesture, she didn't... know what to do. What was she supposed to do? To say? Why? How? When was it decided that this was okay? Because it really wasn't. Logic kept nagging at her, reminding her that it wasn't going to be accepted, and she kept wanting to wring logic with her very hands until it breathed no longer.

Instead, Eirika decided silence was the ally in this one instance. No words. Actions only. Saying anything - even sweet things - would only ruin it. So her hand grasped his and she stayed so near to him that she felt like her whole self had been set aflame. By something so mere and trivial.

[mohawk_tomahawk]

For once.

No regrets.

He did it. He can't take it back. A thousand pounds came off his shoulders.

Maybe this was what he wanted here. When it came to comforts. To find his own happiness and purpose. Maybe that didn't matter for shit right now. He would think about it later, when he maybe thought a little more clearly.

He can...be selfish for just this once.


Please. Let it be okay. To just be here, and be this way. Not worry about the consequences.

Connor's forehead laid down on hers when he was done with his kiss. Holding her near.

[heartofarapier]

Many times Eirika had tensed up when he made any form of advances to her. Many times she had emotionally rejected him. Many times she had worn her crown in his presence. And he had known of each and every time. She knew it well, the look of vague hurt he gave her. She understood it well, the often soulful look of his gaze.

Connor, in a way, made her feel helpless. But it was she who gave him the power to do that.

I was not truthful when I said I was not afraid of losing you, she admitted silently to herself. There will come a day when I will. I cannot worry when it will arrive, though I know I'll worry anyway. But I want to enjoy these days and these times, for as long as I have them.

And yet...

What if I decide, Connor, that my heart is more important than my obligations? The thought terrified her, and even as her eyes closed, she found her arms lifting to draw him to her.

Against her, more or less. THERE'S NO PERSONAL SPACE IN THIS DOJO.