museboxingring | (no subject)

Well, if you asked me, life isn't all that good for the cat either. Cats are supposed to chase mice, right? Nature or something.

[Idle conversation helped, only a little but it did. But he didn't mind Joseph sitting close to him at all.]

Yeah, but the only way for the cat to come out victorious in a cartoon like this is for the mouse to be some sort of villain. They feel the need to make it as black and white as possible for the kids.

[Which is a mistake, in Joseph's opinion. Reality is unfair and they might as well start teaching kids at an early age that sometimes, good guys die and bad guys get away with murder.]

[Just as Joseph said that, a dog started now chasing the cat. Leave it to two grown adults talking so philosophically about a cartoon, really. Emphasis on two grown adults.]

So I guess now the cat deserves to have a dog chase him back. Retribution and all that bullshit, huh?

[They are really such grumps about this. Was there a point to it? Seb wasn't sure anymore.

But this was the best conversation they've had in a while.]

... I guess we're supposed to be rooting for the dog, now.

[What a weird role reversal, now that Joseph thought about it. First you were meant to root for the tiny underdog doing the escaping, now you were supposed to root for the big bad doing the chasing. Talk about a skewered lesson for kids. An offensive, direct approach was okay when it was for the sake of retribution? Was that why the KCPD could be seen beating the shit out of criminals in the streets almost every day?

In fact, Joseph had always rooted for the cat when he was young. The mouse had always struck him as an arrogant, mean-spirited prick. What did that say about him?

He sighed, pressed a hand to his aching head and slipped from the armrest onto the couch itself.]

Hey...you know what I realized?

[Sebastian flipped the channel.]

This shit is really stupid.

[Mainly because it started to upset him and not so much that the toon was bad. They were both making the statements together and it was obvious where they were both going.

There were just commercials on a different channel now. So Sebastian took a second to not focus on the TV. His head started to hurt anyway. Much like Joseph, actually.]

[Joseph chuckled softly at that remark. It was stupid, wasn't it? It was really, tremendously stupid. Not that commercials were any better. Why should he care about goldfish crackers and the make-belief adventures that they could have? They were crackers.

He closed his eyes and moved his hands into his lap, sitting back on the couch. Once that was done, he couldn't quite stop himself from leaning sideways as well, resting against Sebastian's upper arm and shoulder. He knew he shouldn't- this was probably a little awkward for the man, but it was just so damn comfortable for Joseph himself.]

...

[It was awkward. Really awkward. On any random occasion before the whole mess with STEM, this would only happen if they both had too much to drink. It never happened. It was always Sebastian who drank too much.

Was it intentional for that to happen?

Man, he wasn't equipped for this. He had no idea what to do.]

...You okay?

[Joseph had known beforehand that Sebastian wouldn't appreciate that move. He felt a little bad for making him uncomfortable, but still didn't regret it. Having the man press up against him was a good, physical reminder that he was there. That it was real. ...Probably.

The scent of Seb's cologne was a good bonus. One couldn't smell things like that in STEM. Any 'scent' that reached their noses had been gore, decay or mud.

He didn't pull away. He stayed right where he was for as long as Sebastian would let him.]

... Yeah. Sorry.

[Sebastian shifted a bit on the couch. On one hand, this was probably the first time he'd ever relaxed since he came back. On the other, this kind of affection was...off. He didn't expect it coming his way any time soon, specifically because he never asked for it anymore.

But from Joseph, of all people.

The guy who he was sure hated his guts or at least held meager respect for was now just getting all cozy on him...on his couch.

Maybe he was just tired, and weary. Finally finding a place to go.

No matter how temporary it was at this point.

Sebastian reached up and wrapped his arm around his partner's shoulders. He accepted this now, it was the right thing to.]

It's fine. You looked comfortable for once.

[Joseph would've sooner expected Sebastian to shove him off, because the man had never seemed particularly affectionate after Myra disappeared. Joseph himself had never been the affectionate kind either. All the more reason for him to be surprised when an arm wrapped itself around his shoulders. His eyes widened, only for a few seconds. Then they slipped shut.

It was comfortable. For him, anyway.]

I don't want to be a burden. [He didn't want Sebastian to humor him either. Or pity him. Or any other thing like that.]

You're not. Trust me.

[He wasn't. Sebastian wasn't sure what this was. It just felt like the right thing to do. After one final day, not even by now, there just had to be something that could come out from this.

And this couldn't end like this.

Seb lulled his head back, and with his free hand, he held his head.

You have one day left. You're leaving him in the dark, he's still hiding in the closet, and you have what to show for it?

You know you can't leave it like this, you ass.]

Joseph...there's something I have to tell you.

['Trust me'... Joseph would've liked to. He would've liked to place his faith in Sebastian the way he used to. Trouble was, after everything that'd happened, there was always that minor shred of paranoia. There was always a 'what if' to dawn on him. He couldn't even trust himself anymore, let alone another person.

Sure enough, nothing good would ever come from the words "there's something I have to tell you". That was the sort of phrase that was always followed by bad news. Joseph wasn't surprised. He simply nodded.]

Which is?

[He dreaded this. He always dreaded this the moment they came to his house. As much as he'd like to pull the wool on his eyes, that really wouldn't be fair. Joseph just had to know. It was all just a matter of the consequences behind this. The whole matter being of whether it was better or worse that he didn't know.

Joseph would wake up tomorrow with him gone, then he'd be lost, probably forever. Never to have a chance, be ignorant. But then, maybe he wouldn't be pissed at him.

He could know the cold hard facts, get the advice of just fucking try in life. Or he could feel guilty for the remainder of his life.

There was no good decision here.

It boiled down to Sebastian unsure if Joseph should live that lie or not.]

It's about why you're here at all.

[Why he was here at all? That was a pretty vague statement. Where was here? The house? The real world? (This was real. He had to keep reminding himself over and over that this was reality, no matter how many monsters he thought he could see from the corner of his eye.)

He drew a deep, steadying breath through his nose. He didn't like where this was going. Not one bit.]

I suppose... this is bad news?

Certainly not happy news.

[Meaning it basically was bad news. But it was bad news he could do nothing about, so there was no actually point calling it bad. It was as it was.

But so far, Joseph seemed calm and attentive. For now.

So he just had to buck up, be a man, and do the horrible thing he dreaded to do for the past week.]

This is my last day here.

['For now' being the keywords, because Joseph was already starting to get antsy at the confirmation that he wouldn't enjoy this particular bit of news. Sadly, Sebastian was getting vaguer by the minute and still using the term of 'here'. Where was here? Why would it be his last day? None of it made sense.

Or maybe it made perfect sense and Joseph didn't get it because STEM had messed with his perception of reality.]

What do you mean...?

[Son of a bitch. He was really going to have to just say it. As much as he wanted to dodge around and lightly tap it, he just couldn't. It was realistic, and not being blunt wasn't his style.

But it was difficult now, too difficult.

He opened his mouth, with a breath.]

I mean that tomorrow I'll be there. That was the deal.

[That still didn't make any sense. Deal? What deal? Where was there? Was Sebastian avoiding the details on purpose? It was aggravating, really, that his partner wouldn't tell him the complete truth. Why? To spare his feelings? Was Joseph that far gone?

He grit his teeth and finally moved his head off Seb's shoulder, sitting up straight to watch him dead in the eye.]

'Here' and 'there'... Dammit Seb...! Just come out and say it! What did you do?

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two billion years later

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scream

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i entered the matrix and came back to gay shit

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