museboxingring | I couldn't leave you there. (feat. Joseph)

I couldn't leave you there. (feat. Joseph)

[Joseph was still alive.

They kept him there, why? To prod at his brain some more? What could Joseph have that could keep him in this hellhole for any longer than he.

He thought they were over this, that they could walk it off and walk away.

But this shit was following them, and Joseph didn't follow him out of the building. Sebastian thought he was dead, he didn't know at all there was a possibility that he had still lived. Kidman shot him back there while attached to that freak machine. She set him free, they let him walk out of the building for air. To walk off any grogginess and pain, and to gauge just how much of what happened was even real.

He watched Leslie leave, vanish. Like a ghost that never existed.

Sebastian found it hard to believe, there was nothing he could do, it was another trick that his mind did.

And they won't be exposing that to Joseph anymore.

He received an anonymous tip from home, Sebastian still not have returned back to precinct since the incident for many reasons.

It must have been a few weeks, but he received a letter in the mail. Mail, one of the only things he brought himself to get outside. He took to drink heavily, and awoke one afternoon hungover and even groggier. But he became sober when he received a tip from that anonymous sender, no return address or name.

Just someone typing up something on a blank page in an envelope.

Joseph is still alive.

Someone knew. Someone knew him.

Sebastian suspected for a moment.

Someone he knew could only send this.

Then he stopped thinking. He grabbed his pistol and walked out his door. Speaking of crazy things, he was about to do one right now.]

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[More like Sebastian couldn't quite pin-point whether he was sorry for now or then. Both apologies were rather useless now, since Joseph was at such a bad state.

So, to Seb, that was the thing he didn't want to hear.

After all they had been through in STEM, Seb just couldn't think the same way. Joseph was there for him through that, they had supported each other.

There was a lot to think about, but Seb just...refused to talk about what was then. So, fact of the matter was, Joseph was not a useless partner. He was not a burden.

Sebastian really wanted to get that straight with him, right now.]

Bullshit.

[There was a tone with that word. The more he thought about things, the more poignant the feelings were. There was a lot Sebastian could have done himself, a lot of things he could've fixed before it got worse.]

I'd probably be dead if it weren't for you. Not just in this hellhole; dead, Joseph.

[Feelings weren't his strong suit at all, but those words weren't empty. They deserved to be followed up.]

You gave me a lot of lip when I needed a push. It might've seemed like I never appreciated what you've done as a partner but it did matter.

There are things I've done that I ain't proud of either. A lot of things I could've done better but hell if it didn't mean I thought you were a shitty partner. Because I didn't.

[Huh... Did he do that much for Seb? Really? He couldn't remember. He wished it was different; that he could recall what life was like before STEM. Was he happy, back then? Was Seb? It was all a huge blur. It was being drowned out by visions of blood, violence, darkness and screaming.

As it was, all he could do was take Seb's word for it. His partner wouldn't lie, would he?

...Partners. They were partners. The more he focused on that word, the more meaning it got. They were supposed to look out for one another. They were supposed to complement one another. Like a left hand and a right hand; mirror images, but the perfect combination.

Maybe... Maybe he could remember.]

I'm... glad. Glad that you think so.

[What else was he supposed to say to that? It was hard to come up with the right words anyway.

He drew another deep breath, a stinging pain shooting through his ribcage as he did so. A migraine kept increasing, then waning at seemingly random intervals. He couldn't remember what it was like to be healthy, either.]

Edited 2015-09-09 20:24 (UTC)

[That was it, Sebastian had enough. Joseph needed help, and badly. He needed food, space, he needed to get away from here.

His partner needed his damn help, that was why he came over. That was why he--]

I'll help you walk if I have to. But you're getting the hell out of this place.

[Joseph definitely needed all those those things, and then some. He had a chance to get better. Seb believed in that chance, so Joseph would have to believe in it too. The biggest issue would be fighting through his current state to get to the better times.

He had to stand tall, both in the literal and figurative sense.

His fingers dug into Sebastian's coat one last time, then he focused all his attention on pushing himself up. On getting his legs to straighten themselves out and support his weight. On stretching his spine, despite how much he still wanted to curl into a little ball.]

[Sebastian was going to do his best too. In order for Joseph to straighten himself up, he threw his arm around his waist for support. That way, he could keep Joseph supported from the torso down. Using his free hand, he grabbed one of Joseph's and wrapped in around Sebastian's neck.

All bases were covered. Sebastian started to walk, knowing well that he could do this. Joseph wasn't heavy, he got this.]

One step at a time. Slowly.

[One step at a time... Right. He could do that. Even someone like him could do that.

Even so, he came to realize the moment he raised a foot that Seb would have to support some of his weight. It'd become obvious to Seb as well, because the only way for Joseph to really stay upright while moving one foot would be to lean into him.

It was going to be a long, awkward walk to that elevator.]

[It took a few moments before they actually reached that damn elevator. About a minute or so, longer if Joseph seemed to stumble even as he was being half carried. It felt like forever, but he kept going and they finally reached a destination of many.

Sebastian made sure he used his one of his feet to kick the box of Joseph's belongings into the elevator. He couldn't forget that, no sir.

Once they were inside, he tried to fumble with the buttons. First floor, there. Done. Part one completed, they were on their way out of this place for good. At least for Joseph. Sebastian made sure he drowned out every other noise or incoming thought about that, he tried to really keep his focus on Joseph.

The elevator made a lurch and made it ascent. Some more idle talk, yes?

Sebastian motioned to the box.]

Got your other things too, right here.

[Joseph had never had a problem with elevators before. He'd never been even remotely claustrophobic or entertained ideas that something could go horribly wrong. STEM changed that, to some degree. Now there was something about being locked in a small box- one that was moving- that made him uneasy.

He tensed and closed his eyes. That way, if the doors opened to reveal something horrifying, he wouldn't have to see it just yet.

Sebastian was pulling him out of that 'safety', though.]

Other... things? [He couldn't remember what other things he was supposed to have with him. Shoes, maybe. Shoes would be helpful.]

[Sebastian just tried to keep supporting up Joseph. Especially if he got a headache again, he could be a first responder to it. They were getting out of here and going home, or well, Seb's home for the time being. He could crash and rest at whatever leisure he could possibly muster. Seb never rested comfortably and he won't now, but he could pretend for Joseph if it meant he could rest and move on.

They didn't have much time and he wanted to have a good sit and drink with Joseph before it all ended. That was his goal. If Joseph can find it in him to return to the force, even better.

That was what was on Joseph's person as he arrived in this place, he was a darn cop.]

Shoes, your old clothes, your badge...all here.

[Clothes... Badge... Right. Yes. Badge. He'd had a badge with him. A whole lot of good that'd done him. Being a cop hadn't made the people who'd tossed him into that hellhole think twice. His police training had made sure he'd survived longer than most of those other poor saps, that was about it.

He'd loved being a detective, before. Now, at least for the moment, he resented that title.]

Right... Right.

[He raised a hand to his face- (gloves? Shouldn't he also have gloves? Are they in the box too?)- rubbing two fingers along the nook between his eyebrows. Then his hand moved further onward, all the way through his hair and to the back of his head. There was something... wasn't there...?

Wasn't that where they stuck the enormous needle that went all the way into his brain? The connection to the machine? Or was that just part of the illusion too?]

Edited 2015-09-13 18:40 (UTC)

[Sebastian didn't know how to respond to that practically dismissive remark. Though maybe it was a bit of a relief too, it was very "Joseph-y". He hoped that the further Joseph got away and was able to breathe, the more pieces of himself he could collect.

Joseph now just looked tired, which was something Sebastian knew he could probably fix.

When it came to the box of things, Sebastian decided to drop that for now. They would get to it when they get to it. It probably all still felt surreal for Joseph. After all, Sebastian was hooked on to that machine too. Nothing felt real or made sense to him when he left. He just wanted some air to clear his head, or try to. Sebastian wasn't "right" yet, and won't really get the chance to heal completely if he were honest with himself.

The rest of the elevator ride was oddly silent, Seb had no clue how to continue that line of dialogue.

When the door would open, they were greeted by the halls that led to the main lobby. The mood was very different, the halls were well lit and there were plenty of windows. It looked like a regular hospital wing.]

[The silence was fine. It meant Joseph wouldn't have to force himself to talk, either. It'd be a good distraction, but it took up so much effort. If there was still a whole trip ahead of them, he'd be better off saving his energy for that.

Despite the cheerful warm light, Joseph cringed and backed further into the wall when the doors slid open. No, it was because of the light that he had to recoil. It was too bright. Too different from the darkness he'd gotten used to. It'd leave him too exposed.

The hand that was on the back of his head slid back towards his face, shielding his eyes. Meanwhile, the other hand pressed itself against the elevator wall to hold him steady. He drew a deep, shuddering breath.]

[He knew that would be much for Joseph. Sebastian made sure he still had a good grip on him as he recoiled backwards. Now the real test began, they were ever inching so close to the real world again. It would only take a few more halls and one last awkward walk through the lobby, probably face to face with that desk lady again.

Unless they let her go home, which was also possible. She went through a lot of trauma today, oops.

An employee came to them in the elevator. Calmly, and collectively, he grabbed the cardboard box with Joseph's things. "Let me help with that, sir."]

Car's outside, thanks.

[So now he could just worry about getting Joseph out these last few doors. He walked him out of the elevator, so slowly in hopes he could get adjusted to the light.]

[Joseph would've recoiled even further into a corner of the elevator if it were possible, but Sebastian's grip made it impossible. He was in no state to break free of that, at the moment. The employee who appeared to take the box was barely even noticed.

Being led through the halls was like being led to the gallows. If not those, then something else equally ominous. A guillotine, a bloodied up electric chair, an enormous meat grinder capable of turning a human body to mulch. ... All of those things sounded far too familiar.

The people they passed were staring- he could feel their eyes pricking into him. They must've thought he was another patient. Utterly out of his mind. He felt out of his mind. Any second now, the people in charge were going to realize they'd made a mistake and toss him right back in there; he was sure of it.]

[If anyone did that, then the deal was off. Sebastian would take out his pistol and be damned if they took Joseph away after all that he'd done. If they thought they could take both himself AND Joseph, they had a lot of stuff coming. Nothing good either.

He was right next to Joseph as he walked through the halls and eventually the open lobby. Oblivious faces were there, but also was the desk lady's. Sebastian continued to pretend to ignore her. That was, until she decided to speak up herself.

"C-Congratulations, Mr. Oda for being discharged. W-we hope there's a brighter future outside those doors."

She was paid to say that, obviously. Or maybe not, who knew. Sebastian would never know if she was at all sympathetic to what had happened or she just wanted her own job secured all sacred like. None of this mattered nor will it later.]

We're almost there, you're doing great.

[Even if Sebastian was walking him every step of the way. They finally reached the doors right to the outside. He reached to grab them, and he stopped.

He had an idea.]

There. You do the honors.

[He heard the desk lady's feeble attempt at cheer, but had no idea what to make of it. Congratulations? A brighter future? Who even was this woman? How much did she know about what he'd been through? Did she know anything at all? His name, apparently. She had some nerve congratulating him as if he'd managed some grand accomplishment.

In the end, all he could do was squint her way as they passed her.

And then they reached the doors. Joseph couldn't quite recognize them- his memories of entering Beacon Mental Hospital were already far too faded. Still, he knew these had to be the doors that would lead to the outside. He didn't trust it. He couldn't trust it.

Something was dawning on him just by looking at the exit. An irrational, illogical fear that couldn't be reasoned away, because STEM had been quite irrational and illogical. What if, the second he touched the handles, both doors would crumble at his touch? What if the entire wall- the entire building would crumble? Or gravity would stop working, or the floor would swallow him up?

It's real. It's real. Don't worry about it, it's real.

But what if it wasn't? What if he was deluding himself and raising his own hopes only to have them crushed again? He didn't want to find out. Maybe if Sebastian opened the doors, it would be safe. If Sebastian was part of the delusion, it'd cooperate with him and nothing bad would happen.

A shake of the head as he scrunched his eyes shut. ]

... No.

[Seb didn't want to talk about it and he wasn't having this. Joseph had to know, for a fact, this was real. The moment of truth would be when he LEFT the darn Beacon Mental Hospital.

He had to try even harder. So Seb used the hand wrapped around his waist and extended it to grab his hand.

This was awkward as hell but he had to do it.

He moved Joseph's hand to grab the handlebars of the door.]

You really should. At least half of it.

[Grabbing Joseph's hand during a moment where he couldn't see it happening was probably not one of Sebastian's best ideas. The moment he felt fingers close around his palm, his entire body froze up in alarm, eyes shooting open so fast that it was painful.

Much as he tried to pour all his effort into convincing himself that there was nothing to fear- that it was just Sebastian- his hand being moved towards the door just sent him into a further frenzy.]

I said NO! [His shout was bound to draw unwanted attention, but he didn't even care. He was too busy trying to tug his hand out of Sebastian's grip again.]

[He had no clue what to do at this point. Trying to force something to happen outside of a comfort zone was too much. Of course it was. Considering what MOBIUS did to Joseph.

But that was all Sebastian knew what to do in a situation like this. It got them this far. As far as he could remember a few moments ago, Joseph was just fine in his little padded cell because that became his life for the few weeks that passed.

All of the images swirled in is mind. This would all soon be him, probably. But at least he was here by his own choice. It was a decision he made willingly. It's on paper. Literally. He knew Joseph didn't want this, deep inside. But Joseph forgot how it was to live. By George, Sebastian didn't want him to waste any of it.

Not like he did. Joseph was too good of a guy for that.

If anyone looked, Sebastian didn't give a shit. He decided to try to push forward, just get outside. Outside, where it's the fucking real world and not a world made up.

Maybe it was harsh of him then, but Sebastian used his hand to push the door open despite Joseph's struggling.]

Dammit Joseph, if the only way for you to see that this is real is going outside then we gotta open the door. Even if I gotta do most of the damn work, this door is opening.

[It wasn't the door opening that was the problem. Heck, going outside wouldn't change much. He could see the rest of the city, the rest of the country, the rest of the world and he still wouldn't be able to rest easy. He still wouldn't be convinced that it was real.

That wasn't the problem. What was the problem was his hand touching the door. He didn't want to be the one to open the way. He didn't want interact with the surroundings on too great a level because if he did, he'd be more likely to trigger a trap. It'd be like poking a sleeping bear.

So he fought back. He dug his heels into the floor and pushed back as far as he could, trying to wriggle his way out of Sebastian's hold. If that meant he'd fall to the floor, then so be it. Just so long as his fingertips wouldn't touch the exit.]

NO! Sebastian, don't! Let GO of me!

[It was at least a start, at least it was out of here. Joseph was really making a scene, and he was recoiling right on back.

Some of the staff started walking their way on over and Sebastian didn't want that. This really wasn't good. Sebastian couldn't give up right now. He really couldn't. They were almost there, or almost there to being almost there.

Sebastian had them let go of the handle, now they were just standing there and blocking the door.]

[Joseph had completely lost track of their surroundings by now. Who cared about other people in the hospital? Who cared about staff? Seb allowed him to pull his hand away from the door and that was all he could focus on.

Mild relief washed over him and with that, he could attempt to breathe a little easier. He could try to get some more oxygen into his struggling lungs. If it were at all possible, he might try to shrink in on himself, but Sebastian's hold on his body made that impossible. Instead, the most he could manage was to twist towards Seb. To lean into him a little more.

Just keep breathing. Just keep breathing...]

[...He couldn't believe this. Now what he was going to do? Sebastian could've sworn Joseph was close to shrinking down to a few feet tall. He was so broken, almost too broken.

Sebastian was stumped, he bit his lip.

Maybe in some obscure way, they knew this would happen. Maybe they expected them both to give in and never leave.

Joseph was too defeated to go on, not without any shear purpose that he could come to himself.

...Maybe that was it.]

Joseph.

Look at me. What do you want right now?

[What did he want right now? Good question. A very good part of him wanted to go back to that tiny little room, where everything was quiet for the most part. Where he'd be alone for the most part. Aside from the occasional tests, nothing could hurt him and he couldn't hurt anyone else. That was ideal.

Sebastian wouldn't accept that.

What was the next best thing, then? He raised a hand to his face, palm pressing against the frame of his glasses. He couldn't look at Sebastian right now. What did he want more than anything?]

I want... things to go back to normal.

[He wanted things to go back to normal so he could feel normal. He wanted to lose every memory he had of STEM, because if he could no longer remember that horrid place, he wouldn't feel this way.]

[Sebastian knew maybe asking that question would be his death wish. It was easier by now for Joseph to accept things as they were twenty minutes ago. The world was now scary, anything new was too scary to handle. The concept of reality was gone.

It was good that Joseph wasn't looking at Sebastian, because there was a hint of sadness there. It was evident, he didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't have many questions or options left.

He swallowed hard, his nerves were going haywire but his face was just showing that hint of frustrated sadness.]

...Do you think this is real, Joseph? Do you think I'm actually real?

I couldn't leave you there. (feat. Joseph)

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/jumps into icon alt

heheheheh

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THAT ICON FUCKING GOD ;;

MUAHAHAH

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