I couldn't leave you there. (feat. Joseph)

[badcopbrains]

[Joseph was still alive.

They kept him there, why? To prod at his brain some more? What could Joseph have that could keep him in this hellhole for any longer than he.

He thought they were over this, that they could walk it off and walk away.

But this shit was following them, and Joseph didn't follow him out of the building. Sebastian thought he was dead, he didn't know at all there was a possibility that he had still lived. Kidman shot him back there while attached to that freak machine. She set him free, they let him walk out of the building for air. To walk off any grogginess and pain, and to gauge just how much of what happened was even real.

He watched Leslie leave, vanish. Like a ghost that never existed.

Sebastian found it hard to believe, there was nothing he could do, it was another trick that his mind did.

And they won't be exposing that to Joseph anymore.

He received an anonymous tip from home, Sebastian still not have returned back to precinct since the incident for many reasons.

It must have been a few weeks, but he received a letter in the mail. Mail, one of the only things he brought himself to get outside. He took to drink heavily, and awoke one afternoon hungover and even groggier. But he became sober when he received a tip from that anonymous sender, no return address or name.

Just someone typing up something on a blank page in an envelope.

Joseph is still alive.

Someone knew. Someone knew him.

Sebastian suspected for a moment.

Someone he knew could only send this.

Then he stopped thinking. He grabbed his pistol and walked out his door. Speaking of crazy things, he was about to do one right now.]

Comments

[ahighplace]

[He heard the desk lady's feeble attempt at cheer, but had no idea what to make of it. Congratulations? A brighter future? Who even was this woman? How much did she know about what he'd been through? Did she know anything at all? His name, apparently. She had some nerve congratulating him as if he'd managed some grand accomplishment.

In the end, all he could do was squint her way as they passed her.

And then they reached the doors. Joseph couldn't quite recognize them- his memories of entering Beacon Mental Hospital were already far too faded. Still, he knew these had to be the doors that would lead to the outside. He didn't trust it. He couldn't trust it.

Something was dawning on him just by looking at the exit. An irrational, illogical fear that couldn't be reasoned away, because STEM had been quite irrational and illogical. What if, the second he touched the handles, both doors would crumble at his touch? What if the entire wall- the entire building would crumble? Or gravity would stop working, or the floor would swallow him up?

It's real. It's real. Don't worry about it, it's real.

But what if it wasn't? What if he was deluding himself and raising his own hopes only to have them crushed again? He didn't want to find out. Maybe if Sebastian opened the doors, it would be safe. If Sebastian was part of the delusion, it'd cooperate with him and nothing bad would happen.

A shake of the head as he scrunched his eyes shut. ]

... No.

[badcopbrains]

[Seb didn't want to talk about it and he wasn't having this. Joseph had to know, for a fact, this was real. The moment of truth would be when he LEFT the darn Beacon Mental Hospital.

He had to try even harder. So Seb used the hand wrapped around his waist and extended it to grab his hand.

This was awkward as hell but he had to do it.

He moved Joseph's hand to grab the handlebars of the door.]

You really should. At least half of it.

[ahighplace]

[Grabbing Joseph's hand during a moment where he couldn't see it happening was probably not one of Sebastian's best ideas. The moment he felt fingers close around his palm, his entire body froze up in alarm, eyes shooting open so fast that it was painful.

Much as he tried to pour all his effort into convincing himself that there was nothing to fear- that it was just Sebastian- his hand being moved towards the door just sent him into a further frenzy.]

I said NO! [His shout was bound to draw unwanted attention, but he didn't even care. He was too busy trying to tug his hand out of Sebastian's grip again.]

[badcopbrains]

[He had no clue what to do at this point. Trying to force something to happen outside of a comfort zone was too much. Of course it was. Considering what MOBIUS did to Joseph.

But that was all Sebastian knew what to do in a situation like this. It got them this far. As far as he could remember a few moments ago, Joseph was just fine in his little padded cell because that became his life for the few weeks that passed.

All of the images swirled in is mind. This would all soon be him, probably. But at least he was here by his own choice. It was a decision he made willingly. It's on paper. Literally. He knew Joseph didn't want this, deep inside. But Joseph forgot how it was to live. By George, Sebastian didn't want him to waste any of it.

Not like he did. Joseph was too good of a guy for that.

If anyone looked, Sebastian didn't give a shit. He decided to try to push forward, just get outside. Outside, where it's the fucking real world and not a world made up.

Maybe it was harsh of him then, but Sebastian used his hand to push the door open despite Joseph's struggling.]

Dammit Joseph, if the only way for you to see that this is real is going outside then we gotta open the door. Even if I gotta do most of the damn work, this door is opening.

[ahighplace]

[It wasn't the door opening that was the problem. Heck, going outside wouldn't change much. He could see the rest of the city, the rest of the country, the rest of the world and he still wouldn't be able to rest easy. He still wouldn't be convinced that it was real.

That wasn't the problem. What was the problem was his hand touching the door. He didn't want to be the one to open the way. He didn't want interact with the surroundings on too great a level because if he did, he'd be more likely to trigger a trap. It'd be like poking a sleeping bear.

So he fought back. He dug his heels into the floor and pushed back as far as he could, trying to wriggle his way out of Sebastian's hold. If that meant he'd fall to the floor, then so be it. Just so long as his fingertips wouldn't touch the exit.]

NO! Sebastian, don't! Let GO of me!

[badcopbrains]

[It was at least a start, at least it was out of here. Joseph was really making a scene, and he was recoiling right on back.

Some of the staff started walking their way on over and Sebastian didn't want that. This really wasn't good. Sebastian couldn't give up right now. He really couldn't. They were almost there, or almost there to being almost there.

Sebastian had them let go of the handle, now they were just standing there and blocking the door.]

[urgetojump]

[Joseph had completely lost track of their surroundings by now. Who cared about other people in the hospital? Who cared about staff? Seb allowed him to pull his hand away from the door and that was all he could focus on.

Mild relief washed over him and with that, he could attempt to breathe a little easier. He could try to get some more oxygen into his struggling lungs. If it were at all possible, he might try to shrink in on himself, but Sebastian's hold on his body made that impossible. Instead, the most he could manage was to twist towards Seb. To lean into him a little more.

Just keep breathing. Just keep breathing...]

[badcopbrains]

[...He couldn't believe this. Now what he was going to do? Sebastian could've sworn Joseph was close to shrinking down to a few feet tall. He was so broken, almost too broken.

Sebastian was stumped, he bit his lip.

Maybe in some obscure way, they knew this would happen. Maybe they expected them both to give in and never leave.

Joseph was too defeated to go on, not without any shear purpose that he could come to himself.

...Maybe that was it.]

Joseph.

Look at me. What do you want right now?

[ahighplace]

[What did he want right now? Good question. A very good part of him wanted to go back to that tiny little room, where everything was quiet for the most part. Where he'd be alone for the most part. Aside from the occasional tests, nothing could hurt him and he couldn't hurt anyone else. That was ideal.

Sebastian wouldn't accept that.

What was the next best thing, then? He raised a hand to his face, palm pressing against the frame of his glasses. He couldn't look at Sebastian right now. What did he want more than anything?]

I want... things to go back to normal.

[He wanted things to go back to normal so he could feel normal. He wanted to lose every memory he had of STEM, because if he could no longer remember that horrid place, he wouldn't feel this way.]

THAT ICON FUCKING GOD ;;

[badcopbrains]

[Sebastian knew maybe asking that question would be his death wish. It was easier by now for Joseph to accept things as they were twenty minutes ago. The world was now scary, anything new was too scary to handle. The concept of reality was gone.

It was good that Joseph wasn't looking at Sebastian, because there was a hint of sadness there. It was evident, he didn't know what to do anymore. He didn't have many questions or options left.

He swallowed hard, his nerves were going haywire but his face was just showing that hint of frustrated sadness.]

...Do you think this is real, Joseph? Do you think I'm actually real?

MUAHAHAH

[ahighplace]

[Did he think it was real? Maybe. It felt real, but that didn't mean anything. STEM had felt real too. He could feel Sebastian- his fingers and his shoulder and anything else that was still supporting Joseph's weight, but it didn't mean a damn thing. The smell didn't mean a damn thing either. The bright lights and utterly normal people who were watching them, and how calm it seemed to be here...

All of it could be luring him into a false sense of security. And maybe Sebastian wasn't real either. Maybe he was just seeing what he wanted to see. Maybe the real Sebastian was killed a long while ago. Maybe the real Sebastian found a way out of STEM and left him behind. Nobody in their right mind would go back in there.

He shook his head as much as he could without making himself dizzy. Just staying conscious was becoming a bit of a struggle.]

I don't know, Seb... I don't know.

[badcopbrains]

[He didn't know, and they seemed so close. Sebastian tried so hard to force this to happen and Joseph still didn't know what was real or not.

He really couldn't put as much blunt force into this as he hoped he would. But he can't sit here and talk with it, especially now with all of the patients and workers looking on to the scene. Some workers tried closing in, to which Sebastian just shook his head.

No, he didn't want them getting near this. He didn't want them near Joseph. He didn't want any prying ears about STEM and MOBIUS, and all other conspiracy bullshit that could make this whole thing blow up.]

Look, I'm going to be...honest here, okay? I don't know how to help you believe this is real or not. I wanna talk about it, I really do. I want to help you make sense of all of the hell they put you through and help get you over this. But I can't do that here, not in this hellhole.

[Then suddenly, right after.]

Please Joseph, I can't do this alone. I need your help, we need to get the hell out of here. I need you to trust me.

[urgetojump]

["Please"... The word kept ringing through Joseph's head for a bit longer. Sebastian was pleading. Sebastian was begging for his trust. That was exactly what an illusion would do. A cheap form of trickery.

But then... If Sebastian were real, it meant he was at his wit's end right now. It was hard to remember for certain, but Joseph was sure that his partner wouldn't plead just like that. If that was the case, maybe Seb was close to giving up on him. On leaving him behind. Maybe that would be for the better.

... No. He'd already decided, hadn't he? There were pieces that needed to be picked up. It was going to be a struggle, but he could still get better. Maybe. If that was the case, he couldn't let Sebastian leave him behind. Not again. He had to try and keep up this time. The moment he fell behind would be the moment they'd get separated, and then he might never see Sebastian again. That was a terrifying thought.]

... Okay.

[He frowned, trying to focus his gaze- trying to focus all of his attention and coherent thoughts on the door before him. Then, carefully, he raised a hand to press his fingertips against the handle.]